A friend recently shared this commencement speech given by author Kurt Vonnegut in 1999, which included this passage that I thought beautiful:

Don't give up on books. They feel so good - their friendly heft, the sweet reluctance of their pages when you turn them with your sensitive fingertips. A large part of our brains is devoted to deciding whether what our hands are touching is good or bad for us. Any brain worth a nickel knows books are good for us.

I often will hold my book even after I am finished reading at night just because I'm not quite ready to relinquish it to the table, so you can imagine how these words made sense to me. I can imagine a novelist describing it: Under the covers, she grasped her book with both hands folded, a sort of prayer for the pages or as she drifted off, the stories told and untold in the book she clutched acted as a pacifier for her hectic brain.

I recently reconnected with a friend from my childhood on Facebook. I love Facebook, by the way, that's another post entirely. He is someone I literally came up with from Kindergarten all the way through graduation; we hung out in the same group for many years and I considered him one of my closest guy friends...ff 15 years to today. Anyhow, he moved to France about two years ago after living here in the US for 31 years and decided to start a blog to keep up with his friends and family. I haven't read all of it yet (that's a lot of posts), but what I have read so far is excellent. Excellent!! I emailed him to tell him I could hear his voice while I was reading it, he responded that was what he intended. Well done, Mr. Smith!

He is a guy that is so effortlessly good, cool, and genuine that you can't even be pissed at him about it. In this case, it was lovely to reconnect. Those close to me know that I often run into people...OK, every time I go somewhere I know someone. Target. The mall. The park. The bathroom. Sometimes I use the duck and cover. Sometimes I turn and walk the other way. I make very good small talk, but I am absolutely terrible at feigning interest.

It was nice to reconnect with someone I would walk right towards if I saw them in the street.
I've listed his page in my blogs so you can check it out.

I am struggling so much today with wanting to work more. I am in a funk. A funk! When I was driving home from work today, I started feeling really sad and anxious. When I got home I was thinking to myself why do you feel this way? Well, obvs, Kate, you didn't want to leave work. And guess what? I was right!

So then begins the dilemma. If I work more, which I can and have been recruited to, I will have to find a new childcare provider. Mine is only avail. on Mondays. And will the boys do well? I know for sure that me being home and crabby is not great for them...but is daycare better?

I'm going a little nuts thinking about it too much. But that is my specialty. I have to tell myself that it will happen the way it should. I think I can I think I can I think I can.....

Aidan's Last Day of School

Aidan finished up his last day at the St Anthony Community pschool (a couple of months ago). And after all the lamenting and planning, he will go to another year of preschool, not Kindergarten. I just felt weird about the going to St. Charles for one year and so I looked at another local preschool and we've decided to start there in the fall. It's about 3 blocks away from our house and a number of friends from ECFE go there, so he'll see familiar faces, then go onto K at Wilshire with all of them.

Our old school had a nice little graduation ceremony. We'll miss his teachers Lisa and Stephanie very much, they are both very talented and always admired Aidan's strengths.

Cole turns two

Our little fighter turned two on July 1. Two! Does this make me want to have another is the most often asked question I have found with a child turning two. No, it does not. It makes me want to have exactly two, thanks! I would think about another if I could get six months of good sleep. That is when I would entertain the thought of having another. Until then, it would just be irresponsible. I guess that's an unresolved topic.

Our year with Cole has been remarkable. He was not walking or speaking six months ago. Now, he is nearly running (tears here). And he is having conversations. One recent one went like this:

Cole: "Mama! More see-reel! Pleeeese!

Me: "Ok, Coleman, I'll be there in a minute, Mama's going potty."

Cole: "OK Mama!"

I was astonished that he replied back to me. Even Aidan commented about it.

We worked hard, gave up a lot, and it paid off. There's nothing better on Earth or beyond.