One of my theories about motherhood is that the reason we have such mush brains is that we never complete anything from start to finish. Conversations, projects, meals, housework, a shower, even thoughts. Let's call it motherhood ADD.

I'm going to commit to completing a couple of things a day, from start to finish, and see how it improves my ditzyness and focus. I should at least take time to do that for myself. Let me know what you think about my theory and if you have ways to improve the continuity of the mom brain!

This is the best artichoke dip. I serve it with a thinly-sliced baguette toasted with a little olive oil brushed on top.

Jax Cafe Artichoke Dip

1 cup cream cheese

1 cup sour cream

1 cup mayo

1 cup parm

1/3 cup diced red bell

1/3 cup diced red onion

1/3 cup minced garlic

1 can artichoke hearts

dashes tabasco

dashes cayenene

salt

pepper

Blend the first 4 ingredients with an electric mixer. Then fold in vegetables and seasonings. Bake at 350 for at least 30-40 minutes or until bubbly and brown....

Joel (my dh) and I went to see local, long-running band Umbrella Bed last night as our Valentine's Day date. My friend Eva (another St. A SAHM) plays the...wait for it...french horn in the band. I love seeing live music, and I love the Triple Rock Social Club where they are playing. They actually have excellent food, which you wouldn't necessarily think for a dive in the Cedar-Riverside neighborhood. Check out their menu here.

We didn't eat dinner there, however, but rather opted for the newer Thai place by our house, Sen Yai Sen Lek. This loosely translates in Thai to "big noodle little noodle", which describes about a third of their nicely-sized menu. I have heard mixed reviews and am glad I went to experience it for myself. We had a very tasty appetizer of crispy spring rolls over fresh cabbage, served with a sweet-sour-spicy and delicious sauce. I ordered a Thai-style iced tea, which was a sweet brewed tea with sweetened-condensed milk over the top. Joel had spicy noodles with chicken and bean sprouts and I had traditional Thai cashew chicken. Both were excellent. My sister, who lived in Thailand for several months last year, confirmed that all the dishes and drinks we spoke of were traditional and was happy that they did not shy away from true Thai spiciness. She went on to decribe the yin and yang balance that Thai food is all about, something that the menu also promotes.

It was a lovely night out with my sweetie.

Facebook "25 random things" experiment (mine is approximate)

On Facebook right now, there are lists going around that people write about themselves titled "25 Random Things". I like these lists, because I value cleverness and a good sense of humor. I think taking inventory puts us closer to who we are and what we value, and that is never bad. In lots of ways the list has become a confessional as well, which makes for a very interesting read.

This is my second one, the first one I did was 16 things (there are no repeats):

I like to shower right before I go somewhere. If that somewhere is dancing @ 11 p.m., I shower at 10 p.m.

I have never seen Top Gun.

I am a fiercely loyal friend. I don't talk about my friends behind their backs and I never tell secrets--not even the kind I probably should. Sometimes it bites me in the ass.

I am very well read. I run the gamut from Proust to US Weekly to Ina Garten cookbooks to a government housing blog and literally everything in between. But I never watch the news.

Gwyneth Paltrow married Chris Martin the same time I was getting married. My friend Dayna and I made up a question to aide us in making decisions or choosing something: "What would Gwyneth do?".

If I don't feel "together", I have a bad time. It is my least favorite thing about me. This is how I explain my near-manic organizing.

I can source anything. Just ask me and I'll find it for you. Gratis.

No one can scream louder than me. It's your mission if you choose to accept it.

I had natural childbirth. Twice.

I have the ticket from every single movie, concert, play I've ever seen. That's right.

There's no other quiet like winter in Grand Marais. It makes me weep to think about how much I love how quiet it is there.

The lyrics to most Beatles songs were in-born, I never had to learn them. Both of my boys have a Beatles song that is "their song". Aidan's is "Who Knows How Long I've Loved You" and Coleman's is "Beautiful Boy" (a John Lennon song). I'll sing them for you anytime.

I am a recycling and packaging-reduction zealot. I consider it a gift to my children that I give them every other Wednesday.

Someone told me once that having children was about killing time. Having kids isn't what I expected and it's beyond challenging everyday, but that is NOT what it is about.

I run a really f*&@ing tight ship. Oh, and I like to swear.

My body craves (in order of intensity): Joel, my children, sleep, yoga & its corresponding clothes, meaningful conversation, warm roasted vegetables over wilted spinach salad from The Sample Room.

I think I am disproportionately lucky. Have you met my parents, for instance?

I am not easygoing and do not wish to be.

I've never received a better compliment than when someone told me I was like my Grandmommy. She did the cryptoquip every single day, called markers "marking pens", and used Pond's Cold Cream and Kleenex to take her makeup off. And don't get me started on her tuna melts. I miss her every day.

I would make a great sales person; I could sell ice to penguins. But I can't stand sales, I would feel like I'm pulling something over on someone and couldn't live with that.

Nobody can make me laugh like my sister and brother can. Side splitting. Dayna and Coley (especially together) come in a close second.

Dancing? Yes please.

One thing to count on: I've thought about it.

I had acute postpartum depression after Aidan was born. And while I didn't think it while it was going on, it's one of the best things that has ever happened to me.

Until I was a teenager, I thought Indian woman's bindi was a thumbtack. My dad told me this, and my brother backed him up.

I believe that there's no good reason for poor oral hygiene.

Hillesheim Headlines 2008

"Banking/Credit Industry Collapses as Kate Resumes Former Job. Coincidence?"

"Candidates Scramble to Take Education Off Priority List as Aidan Declares:
'I Already Know Everything'"

Aidan at the University of Minnesota Math & Science Fair

"Crime Rates Increase as Coleman Learns to Walk"

Because of a break in his leg and inner ear tubes placed, he had a minor gross motor delay. After a year of therapy at the University of Minnesota Children's Rehab center, our little muffin top finally walked in April and we're happy to report is now off and running.

"St. Anthony family accused of starting unregulated zoo. Rumored sightings included collection of large insects, frogs, hawks, an opossum, fledgling birds, squirrels, deer, rabbits, mice, and dinosaur eggs. Authorities dropped the case when investigation revealed only one very hyper dog living at residence."

We had a variety of wildlife this year for city dwellers, which was wonderful and a little freaky in some cases (opossum). The best of all was a cicada found in the sandbox by Aidan (peeking from behind here) and the swallows that nested in one of our annual baskets on the deck.

"Kate leaves for weekend, returns to find children behaving well and husband needing time out."
--or--

"Breezy Point, MN experiences first ever grain-based beverage shortage as annual girl's weekend gets underway"

"Hillesheim family calculating ways to cash in on Cole's passion for vacuuming."

"Clearly not challenged by everyday life Kate decides to take on a bigger foe: cancer. At last report, cancer was seen running away. Crying."

I was at my regular check up at the dermatologist in April when doctor found three suspicious moles; one of which turned out to be cancer. I had the tumor removed (they took a chicken-breast sized piece) from my arm and after about six weeks recovery, there's nothing to be seen but a hairline scar. Preventive medicine works!

"Boy, 5, head implodes as he visits child-sized outdoor train garden in Eagan, MN"

"Fuses Blow in House with Brand-New Electrical System as Joel Transitions to New Job"

"Kate Sets and Meets Goal to Run 5K; Oil Drops Under $50/Barrel. Failed Republican Ticket's Energy Policy Draft Rumored to Have Provisions To Use Bailout Money to Entice Her to Sign-up For Ultra-Marathons as it Could Lead to OPEC Paying People to Use Oil/Gas".

"After Watching the Documentary, "Monsters, Inc", repeatedly, Aidan Declares Monsters are not Scary. And Are In Fact, Funny. Coleman Disagrees".

"Boys shown to love chickens despite constant exposure to city life and customs."

We visited a farm to get our pumpkins this year and the boys fell in love with these chickens. They are Rhode Island Reds. Tears were shed when we had to leave. Joel now realizes he's outvoted 3-1 in getting a coop and having chickens at home.

"Kate and Joel celebrate 8 years of marriage. Rumored to be morphing into one likeness from common towel use. Have you seen both together? Apologies to those who had 8 in the betting pools. FYI - 9 is not looking promising either. "


We had an amazing and trying year. A large part of how we got through it is because of the extraordinary people that surround us: our families, friends, Coleman's doctors, Aidan's teachers, and so many others. We encourage you to be that person for someone in your life and to leave no work undone, no conversation unspoken, or one minute unused. Happy Christmas and holidays to you!

Need v. Want
Poetry of non-poetic proportions

I want to go out; I need to sleep
I want to write; I need to eat
I love to dance, so I dance with my boys
I chose to have children, to go without
What I want
And for now, just get what I need

I found it particularly inspiring, as a parent, to learn that in the Obama family, you must endure a presidential campaign to earn a puppy.

Now that is good parenting.

Peggy Noonan is all kinds of crazy. Wow. I thought I had seen it all with Michelle Bachmann and Sarah Palin, but noooooooo. What a nutjob! Her sing-song voice is more than enough to push me over the edge and the words that come out smack of total and utter blissful ignorance.

It distresses me when people in general are ignorant, but when women are ignorant, it offends me.

I'm training for a 5K on Thanksgiving Day. My b/f/f Dayna told me about it; she has been a major factor in my desire to run. I was training to run a 5k closer to my next birthday (in May), but thought it wise to move it up and not lose the momentum I've gained. There is really nothing like running, you've heard people say it, it sounds like a cliche. It's completely true.


A new friend named Sara has been my running partner. I've posted before about making friends in my adult years; I've had extraodinary luck for the most part. Sara can be described as much more than just luck. Karma is a better term. She's funny, she's an epicurian, and has good taste. A trifecta! She also is a very good listener, which is something I am working on and appreciate.

We figured out shortly after meeting that we went to the same high school. Fast forward three months and we've had about a more hundred coincidences of people in common, last names (her mom's maiden name is O'Reilly!), we now just look at each other in disbelief when something comes up. Sara has three children, same age as mine (but girls) and a baby boy. They are among my favorite "other people's kids" for certain.

Sara, you amaze and delight. I am so grateful for you!

It's the Monday before the Tuesday that changed our lives. I didn't sleep at all last night, and I suspect tonight and Tuesday night will be similar. I'm taking one for the team. Knocking on doors, standing in random streets with a very large sign bearing a very unusual name, calling strangers from my the unpublished number of my 3G BlackJack.

I'll run on adrenaline, if that's what it takes, B. Can I call you B?

The green dress (accessories built in!) by Korto
I hope to wear the next time I am a bridesmaid.

I am glad Leanne won Project Runway, she deserved it for her clear point-of-view, ecologically sound fabric choices, and innovation. But (there's always a but) if I were a judge, judging solely on wear-ability, I would have picked Korto, hands down. Her colors, styles, and fabrics were beautifully chosen, and her ability to design for real, curvy bodies (like hers and mine) is a gift beyond any innovation.

When I accept my first Oscar.

A party next summer.

I'll figure out a place for this one.

Last night, while brushing his teeth, Coleman rubbed his face and said, "I'm so tired." Joel and I embraced. We're so happy our kids are tired at bedtime and now they can both verbalize it. My friend Lucie says it gets easier and now, I finally believe her. I had to have a little hard evidence of my own.

My darling parents, Eric and my sister Meg, myself and sissy Jayne, and you likely know the other combinations.

We hosted birthday dinner today for the O'Reilly Clan (Meg, Matty and Moms bdays). Here's what we had:

Hennepin, Stella, Dog Days, and Hacker-Pschorr beers
Red wine: El Coto (Rioja) and Trefethen (Merlot)
White wine: New Gewurz North Coast (Gewurztraminer)

New French baguette with local bleu, Vermont cheddar, and french Camembert cheeses, peppercorn salami, and marinated olives

Marinated beef tips with romas and crispy paper-thin onions
(marinade is Grampa Asher's cajun spice and buttermilk)
Spicy horseradish & tarragon sauces

Salmon cakes
on field greens salad

Salt-water boiled fingerling potatoes

Artichoke gratin

Roasted whole carrots and daikon radish

Apple crisp with vanilla and caramel ice cream
(apples from our tree and local honeycrisps) YUM!!

Twins Game--they won, we had a great time, and maybe next time we'll make it seven innings--or GASP! The whole game.

I know that Aidan is a good boy, a kind and well-mannered boy. He rarely has ulterior motives, and when he does, it is actually endearing. He has been naughty a total of twice, both times I found out because he told on himself. By naughty I mean knowing something is wrong and doing it anyway. I often (commonly every day) get compliments both from people we know and strangers about him.

He is a normal, 5-year-old boy. And by normal, I mean he moves his body uncontrollably at all the wrong times. He always takes the bigger piece/greater quantity of anything edible. He frequently doesn't want to go to school and comes up with reasons like "I know all of those letters!" and "We'll have to go to that BORING gym again." He has to have things a certain way.

But, he has many admirable qualities and those outweigh the little annoying ones. I have come a long way with him. I am proud of both of us.

Two sweet things from Aidan today:

We're leaving the house:
Aidan: I'm glad you brought those extra graham crackers along in your purse, Mama.
Me: I didn't bring them Aidan, they are in on the counter where you left them. Would you
like me to bring those extra graham crackers along in my purse?
Aidan: Yes please, Mama.


In the car on the way home after a slew of errands:
Aidan: Mama?
Me: Yes, honeybear?
Aidan: When we get home I'm going to put you right next to me.


Heart. Melting. Now.

A friend recently shared this commencement speech given by author Kurt Vonnegut in 1999, which included this passage that I thought beautiful:

Don't give up on books. They feel so good - their friendly heft, the sweet reluctance of their pages when you turn them with your sensitive fingertips. A large part of our brains is devoted to deciding whether what our hands are touching is good or bad for us. Any brain worth a nickel knows books are good for us.

I often will hold my book even after I am finished reading at night just because I'm not quite ready to relinquish it to the table, so you can imagine how these words made sense to me. I can imagine a novelist describing it: Under the covers, she grasped her book with both hands folded, a sort of prayer for the pages or as she drifted off, the stories told and untold in the book she clutched acted as a pacifier for her hectic brain.

I recently reconnected with a friend from my childhood on Facebook. I love Facebook, by the way, that's another post entirely. He is someone I literally came up with from Kindergarten all the way through graduation; we hung out in the same group for many years and I considered him one of my closest guy friends...ff 15 years to today. Anyhow, he moved to France about two years ago after living here in the US for 31 years and decided to start a blog to keep up with his friends and family. I haven't read all of it yet (that's a lot of posts), but what I have read so far is excellent. Excellent!! I emailed him to tell him I could hear his voice while I was reading it, he responded that was what he intended. Well done, Mr. Smith!

He is a guy that is so effortlessly good, cool, and genuine that you can't even be pissed at him about it. In this case, it was lovely to reconnect. Those close to me know that I often run into people...OK, every time I go somewhere I know someone. Target. The mall. The park. The bathroom. Sometimes I use the duck and cover. Sometimes I turn and walk the other way. I make very good small talk, but I am absolutely terrible at feigning interest.

It was nice to reconnect with someone I would walk right towards if I saw them in the street.
I've listed his page in my blogs so you can check it out.

I am struggling so much today with wanting to work more. I am in a funk. A funk! When I was driving home from work today, I started feeling really sad and anxious. When I got home I was thinking to myself why do you feel this way? Well, obvs, Kate, you didn't want to leave work. And guess what? I was right!

So then begins the dilemma. If I work more, which I can and have been recruited to, I will have to find a new childcare provider. Mine is only avail. on Mondays. And will the boys do well? I know for sure that me being home and crabby is not great for them...but is daycare better?

I'm going a little nuts thinking about it too much. But that is my specialty. I have to tell myself that it will happen the way it should. I think I can I think I can I think I can.....