Either way...

Coleman's back napping now two days in a row. I said it before, I'll say it again: I figured it out, if just for a few days. I'll declare that a victory, even if short lived.

It was fun to have him awake and it's a relief to have him sleeping. The rhythm is good right now.

Yapping and Napping

So Coleman has been yap yap yapping in his crib for about ten days until 10ish. So it occurred to me yesterday (why does it take so long to realize stuff with your kids? sleep deprivation? supreme love?) that he is yapping for about the same amount of time at night that he is napping during the day. He's. Giving. Up. His. Nap. May the Gods be with me.

I have never heard of a child giving up their nap this early. Please write with stories of others doing so to console me. Write soon and often.

So today we went to the park at 10, stayed until 1. Ate lunch, then headed to the pool until 4.

He was asleep by 7:20. Down for the count.

Guess I figured that out.

Yipee yi kai-yay

I woke up today with a purpose: to get downtown by 11:30 with both boys. The reason: to see my dear big brother play on Peavy (not PV) Plaza. It is an outdoor sunken garden right off Orchestra Hall. My brother and his cohort, John, have a little acoustic duo going, and it is Acoustic Tuesday after all.

We packed a picnic lunch and headed down. First stop, Nana's. We picked her up and parked, arrived with time to spare and got a spot up front. We see Matty and John on stage and Aidan is thrilled to know the person performing. Not hard for Aidan, but he felt special. Then arrives Adelheid and Henry with Elizabeth in tow. Then Dayna (my BFF), Renee, and their kickball teammate Ed. Then Jayne (my SIL) with Chase, then her 6 friends, then her Mom. Then comes my Dad. We had a entire section filled with family and friends. From a distance, I saw Matty's college friends had arrived. What a group!

It was perfect weather and was enjoyed by all. Aidan went to spend the day with Nana and Cole fell asleep on the way home. Lovely.

Bowling prodigy?

We are on spring break this week and in an effort to keep the boys occupied, we went bowling. We went to Elsie's in NE Minneapolis after a friend told us that they had put the bumpers up and had ramps for the balls to roll down for the little ones. It was a fun and inexpensive outing. Aidan wore his madras pants (he picked this morning, so it was purely by chance) and they looked too perfect with the neon green, read and cream bowling shoes. The shoes were new(ish) and had velcro--a major improvement from the ones I used with two strands of lace left.

And Coleman loved loved pushing the ball down that ramp. "Go, ball, go!!" he exclaimed each and every time. And then he clap for himself, all proud. Aidan used the ramp a few times and then started to throw in freehand a few sets in. He was an ace! He got two spares and one STRIKE!! He always rises to the occasion, that first born of mine. Even when, of all things, bowling.

I didn't like bowling when I was growing up. Well, I didn't like bowling alleys, actually. The bowling I could take or leave. The smoke, the general smell, the undesirables, the bathrooms, I simply couldn't take it all. Maybe one at a time, but not all at one time. At 10am, the alley wasn't bad at all. Some overnighters from a local manufacturing plant were there winding down, but everything was clean, and thanks to the ban, smoke free. FYI: We didn't use the bathroom.

No Nuk Coleman

We weaned Cole off his pacifier this past weekend. He's been doing pretty well, but then last night he talked and talked and then was up early this morning. THEN, he napped only for 20 minutes today. Not good. Not good at all.

When Joel got home tonight, I told him I was thinking of going out to buy a new pacifier. I know it's a bad idea. But maybe he's not quite ready. He is a being weaned a about a little later than Aidan was. We said goodbye to the nuks with Aidan and it was pretty much over. But with him, it was keeping him up at night, so it seemed like the logical time. He has a lovey (which is what we call the boys' blankets), so it's not that he doesn't have a transitional object. He saw a baby at the library today with a nuk in and wouldn't take his eyes off of her. Nuk love.

I think I'll give it a few more days before I give up the $4 for 2 of those perfect, mouth-watering, self-soothing, little silicone enablers.

A decision, finally

We have decided to send Aidan to St. Charles next year as a third year of preschool. The catch is he'll be in Kindergarten there. The thought is it will give him an academic challenge (he's already getting a bit bored) while giving him the room to grow socially in a classroom of just 10-12 children. St. Charles is the small school of the church we belong to here in St Anthony. We are relieved to have made a decision.

He will be going in the morning, from 8am until 11:30. This will be an early start for us. There is an option of taking the bus, but as I remember, this adds about 1/2 to your start time. 7:30 is too early to have him ready, so we'll drive there in winter and walk or Burley when it's nice out. We'll have to adjust our schedules a bit, but believe it will be a good fit. Aidan will have more time to spend playing and learning, and since he has always had trouble moving from one activity to the next, this will be great for him.

He's been talking about it a lot and is excited, hoping somedays it was coming sooner rather than later. I am sure it will come all to soon for Joel and I....our baby going to Kindergarten, even if it is for a "starter" year.

Meanwhile, back on the Coleman front: taking many steps, getting confident, toddling around the house with one of many walkers, cars, and shopping carts. We're so proud of how far he's come. His language is light years ahead of where Aidan was at this time, and his comprehension is also advanced. His fine motor skills, like his brothers, are exceptional. He stacked 11 blocks with no hesitation recently. In this year of much worry and even more trips to the specialist, I have learned that there is no right time, no exact date, for children and that no one knows my kids like I do. He walked in front of the whole ECFE class last Wednesday, which was very, very sweet indeed. I've never been more proud.

One small step for a boy, one giant leap for our little Coleman

Cole walked from the middle of the room to the couch.

To Send or Not to Send, That is the Question

Aidan's (4 years, 5 months) birthday is August 8. He will be eligible to go to Kindergarten this fall. But now most are sending boys to Kindergarten at closer to 6 years instead of 5. For the most part, this is because boys are not ready for the large amount of sitting and waiting that school requires you to do.

I have done a fair amount, OK, a ton of research on the subject. I have talked to parents of boys, teachers, read online parents' forums, articles, etc etc etc. Exhausting resources is one thing I do well. I found one or two cases where people described their older son, who they waited to send, as bored. But the large majority of the time they are regretting sending them when they have just turned 5. And to add to that, signing songs of good grades, better behavior, and excelling at athletics when they are sent them at just 6 (or even 51/2). Additionally then they are emotionally prepared should they have trouble with the academics at some point. And with his bday in August, he will just turn 6 and then go, where many will turn in Sept or Oct. He will only be slightly older than his classmates, by a few weeks or months. If Aidan had been born two weeks late, he wouldn't even be eligible to attend. That fact is the one that really sealed the decision for me to have him attend another year of preschool. These things along with all the other items in support of waiting outweigh the few that described boredom. I think we'll be able to find ways to challenge him if there are a few times when he is bored over the years. And if he turns out to be MENSA material or a prodigy of some sort, we may go an entirely different path anyway.

The biggest obstacle is getting over that I really wanted him to go this year. I wanted to believe. His teachers say he is ready, and I wanted to just go with that. It would have been a much easier route, that is for sure.

Whew

That was a busy couple of months. I am coming up for air and realizing some of my favorite things were left behind.

Aidan is full swing into his second year of preschool. Oh, how I miss the days of tearful goodbyes, tugging at my leg and leaving worries. Oh wait, no I don't. I don't miss it one bit. He is enjoying it for the most part--no reports otherwise as of yet.

Cole is catching up and doing well. He is starting to stoop for things and standing up in the middle of the room--I don't know who is more shocked--him or me. He just looks around, as if to say, who moved the furniture away?

BFF, OT, PT and other acronyms

I really like our pediatrician. I think sometimes that we could be friends. Honestly! She is about my age, a little older, and so funny, smart and down-to-earth. We get along so well that sometimes it is uncomfortable. She also has young children and seems like a great mom. She's the mom that doesn't take one thing too seriously. Not herself, not her life, not her daughter's wondering how babies are made. Of course, being a pediatrician solves that, does it not? Pretty much down to a science.

We have been seeing a lot of each other lately. Cole is the reason. Yesterday we were there for all of 10 minutes. It was eventful ten, however, and it involved me putting my whole body over Cole while a nurse who looked nice enough drew a vial of blood the size of a roll of Necco Wafers out of his little tiny arm. He wasn't in pain, though, he was pissed. While Aidan looked on and "ohh"-ed nervously, Cole screamed his little pants off. And then, when we were done, he batted the nurse. And then me. I don't blame him.

We have been referred to Gillette Children's Specialty Clinics for Cole's, ahem, problem. I really don't want to make too big a deal of it, and writing helps me sort it out. This is a specialty of specialist clinics--la creme de la creme of PTs, OTs and the like. It takes up the entire fourth floor of Regions Hospital in St Paul. Send us good wishes if you have a second. We feel lucky to have such amazing options for medical care available to us and medical insurance that will pay for most of his care.

With A starting school next week, Cole's new specialist schedule and a promotion (that I turned down) at work, we'll be busy. But busy for me is a way to keep my sanity and know for sure that downtime is well earned. And it turns out that matters to me.

Cole: Has legs, will use them

Coleman is crawling. Can I get a what what?

He crawled across our bed, the friction of the blanket kept his legs behind him. And so, we keep doing it. And keeping at it is working. The rest will follow, this I am sure. He is getting more confident with standing and taking a hand away to grab something. Also, when I pick him up or set him down, he goes to standing automatically. The mood has shifted here at our house to excited and hopeful.

The doctors found nothing physically wrong with his joints after a battery of tests, so the minor motor delay is because of a learned behavior picked up during the time he had his splint. Which is good in its own special way.

Positivity, revisited

After reading my last post, I realized that I was being overtly negative. Sorry, Dr. So and So. I am sure (and hope) that you usually do a much better job.

Aidan had his fourth birthday last week. We had a little party, with a water theme, that was easy on me and lots of fun for his friends that came. It can be done! I was out to prove that it could be: a birthday party that is low on waste, reasonable on cost, and tons of fun for the attendees.

I reused paper that I had stashed away from previous years, and used glass and plastic (reusable) for the rest, I didn't buy anything paper themed, and we used recycled scraps for the place cards. We had a very free flowing schedule, knowing that it is stressful to keep 4 year olds on task. The kids played in the sprinkler and pool, dug in the dirt and sand, and swung their little hearts out. Then we came in and had a terrible for you but delicious lunch and homemade cupcakes with from scratch butter cream icing. Yum! The best part of all of it was that the small and tasteful gifts people brought were thoughtful and useful. And my one friend who brings nothing on request was the most praised. There was no after party fallout, which is what we wished for in our wildest dreams. No letdowns, no sugar lows, no big mess to clean up. Did you think that was possible? It is.

Today's weather is quite lovely and makes me long to wear jeans, a long sleeve T and a scarf. That is the best weather. No jacket, maybe a hoodie--oh--and real shoes. I am longing for rainy cool days after this drought-stricken summer. It was a good summer for events, you never had to worry that you'd get rained on. I was just looking at pics from last year's party and everything was so lush and green, it appears we live Seattle. And even when you water religiously, it's not the same as rainfall.

Coleman has his first PT appt. today to address his lack of gross motor skills. He is still doing the crab crawl and pulling up to his knees. They will come to the house, assess, and we'll see where we stand. I think it will warrant a few trips to see a PT doc, but not many more. He's a bit behind, but not too far with the break factored in.

Aidan is gearing up for going back to school on September 5th. We have a warmup again this year where parents go on the first day and meet and greet while the kids reacquaint themselves with the room, toys, and teachers. And Cole and I are signed up for an ECFE class together on Wednesdays while Aidan is in school, and it is in the same building, actually the same hallway, and is built specifically so that Moms of preschoolers can take younger sibs to the class. They seem to have thought of everything. I am looking forward to the separation time during the class where the kids stay behind, play and go to the gym, and the Moms talk it out. I have taken this Wednesday class before and this time is SO IMPORTANT for me and my friend, my brain. Coleman has always separated very well, we haven't really had a memorable incident yet. Which is great to see in print! It is almost as though it may not be a problem. WOW! Aidan had a very hard time, and it was one of the sorest points for me (and Joel) in his first three years. Through ECFE separation, both at St Anthony and when Joel was taking Daddy & Me on Saturday mornings, we had successful separation.

They both separate well with their grandparents. I am really not sure why we expect our children to separate well with strangers. Note to self and parents everywhere: this does not go well for at least six weeks And it shouldn't! We tell them that strangers and bad and scary. Ah, yes, the conundrums of parenting.

Hillesheim Family: Two kids over 1, none on the way

Coleman had his 1st birthday on Sunday the 1st. I see now that I write it out that it was his golden birthday. And just two days before, as a present to himself (a masochist like his father?), he fractured his right tibia. Poor little dude. You wouldn't know, however, except for the giant splint that reaches from his knee to his toes. His demeanor as the sweetest child on the planet has stuck, even through an injury that would make most adults turn into whining babies.

So, here is the story, since I know you are on the edge of your seat. He was standing up next to a chair and went face first into the floor, and his nose was all gnarly, Rocky-style. That was traumatic enough for me; I was covered in my darling son's blood from clavicle to elbow and beyond. It wasn't until later that I discovered that when I moved him, he winced and cried. I had noticed earlier that his legs were caught under a foot stool when I went to save him.

So, like any good mother, I started poking him to find out where it hurt. What do you expect? He does use sign language, but we haven't mastered "broken tibia". I came to his lower leg and he screamed out. Then I got him to calm down and did it again. This will begin a list in my brain of things that are not even remotely pleasant that we must do as mothers. Great, like there's room in there for that.

Anyhow, Coleman is doing much better and he responds very well to Infant Motrin for pain. It is pitiful and humorous all at the same time to see him try to get around. Or when you go in his room in the morning and he has managed to get the splint, tape, and bandages off. We'll be back in on Friday for Aidan's appointment and they'll do a little check on him then. And to add insult to injury, he is due for 5 shots on the same day. Sorry, little one, what I must do to not be hounded by the school district for the next 17 years.

We went to a 4th of July parade today in Forest Lake, where Joel grew up. It is a big to do. We got lots of candy (so much there was lots left on the ground afterwards), some packets of sunscreen (my favorite), a spinning daisy ring, pinwheels, political stickers, popsicles, and perhaps the best parade schwag I have ever received: string cheese. YUM! Coleman ate his right up. Tootsie rolls, Double Bubble, oh how Aidan loves thee.

We are halfway into what may be the best summer yet. We have been doing nothing but going for walks, getting together with friends and family for casual meals, spending time at the local pools and water parks. It is very relaxing, especially since I got smart and loaded up the back of the car with all the supplies for the latter. I find that more than anything, my intense love of organization and preparedness comes in handy with kids than ever before in my life. Before it merely meant irritating roommates and driving my mother mad. One of the sweetest things Joel ever said was that although sometimes it was a bit overboard, he knew my organizing made his life better. And for me, that is worth it all.

Independence Day: Do you want more or less?

Coleman wouldn't go down tonight. Which is saying a lot, since he has never (I mean it) had a problem going into his crib awake and falling asleep.

Joel and I are perplexed. I even nursed him. He hasn't nursed at night in months. Joel just came out of his room and said "He's still awake!" He just talked and talked until about 9:30, at which point he was silent; finally asleep. Approaching one, he is learning about decisions, choices, and downright rebellion.

He screamed bloody murder at Aidan the other day for switching out a toy, which in weeks past would have meant a kind-hearted murmur of delight. This happens as we age; wanting more and more independence in our decision making. And then somewhere around 30 we realize it is actually nice to have someone make the decisions, the choices once in a while. In fact, now I really prefer it.

Fifth, huh?

Did you know that Fifth's Disease is called such because when it was named it was the 5th most-common rash-producing virus? I am now an expert, because Aidan had it, then I had, now Coleman has it and somewhere along the lines we gave it to my Mom. Click here to find out more about it. Then we found out today that Coleman has bronchiolitis, which 30% of the time means that the child has asthma. Not great news, but 30% isn't too bad.

He is using a nebulizer for the second time since February. It is a strange little aspiration machine that is loud and dispenses the steroid Albuterol in a very low dose. It clears the spasms in the airway so they can sleep and not have a terribly disruptive cough.

Coleman has so seldom kept me up at night that last night I welcomed it. As our little (and last) approaches his first birthday, I am hanging dearly onto the smallest infant-type activity. As he lays there and nurses while I am half asleep, it could well be the first few months of his life.

Our pediatrician is not too worried that he will develop asthma or restrictive airway disease, but she wanted to say it out loud in order for it not to be a total surprise if he does. Which I appreciate. I find that now more than ever, being prepared is the way to go.

A Little Better, OK, A Lot Better

The good news is Aidan and I are getting along. Usually this is followed by bad news, of which I have none to report.

I reached into Colemans mouth this morning to feel for teeth and BAM! there are two molars. Two molars at 11 months, which I suppose is not surprising for the wee one who had six teeth at 5 months. And 7 teeth at 7 months. And now, 1o teeth at 11 months!

We walked over to our friends the Amundsen's last night (under 10 minute walk, I think we can call them our neighbors as well). They are free-spirited bunch, and it is inspiring. Their son is one of Aidan's first friends. Aidan and M picked up right where they left off. And their daughter A is truly one of a kind, a leggy wide-eyed girl with a surplus of stories, energy, and general goodness. Joel and I left their house with not an ounce of the Sunday blahs still left in us. Thanks to them, we started off our week with a fresh view.

Land of the Don'ts

I am attempting to write more often. Starting today. And I usually do what I intend, so there is hope for all Hillesheim blog junkies.

Today was a good day. Yesterday, not as good. But we are getting there. Aidan has adopted a doesn't want to go to school vibe. Not surprisingly, after three weeks of not wanting to do much of anything. I literally offered him a bath in pudding eating M&Ms a few days ago and he said "I don't wan.....what?"

This is who he is right now, and that is OK with me. Because I am the mom who doesn't listen to anything following the word don't. Tell me what you do want, and I will happily oblige. Just don't say don't! Aaagghh.

**Pic details: our family, Coleman and Alexander (my dear friend Beth's son) side by side, Meg and Don, Cole's Godparents, and the brothers Hillesheim. Follow this link to more baptism pics: http://web.mac.com/williamoreilly/iWeb/BabaKarmy/Coleman%27s%20Baptism.html



2 months!

Coleman was 2 months old on Friday. And he has his first cold, which is a stinker. He has green snot, a fever, a cough and the like. Boy, is he brave though. He is smiling and cooing right through it. What a sweetheart he is!

What a different experience this time has been! Not only because it is our second child, which is typically better because you know what the heck you're doing, but because I am having no PPD symptoms thus far. I am experiencing Cole how I imagined being a mother would be: in total awe!

Coleman had his Christening last Sunday. We had a nice gathering afterwards at our house and it was a beautiful day to be outside. My sister Meg is Coleman's Godmother and our dear friend Don is his Godfather. He wore the same gown as Aidan (and Joel) wore for their baptisms, it is a family heirloom. I love the tradition and ceremony of it all!

We have been back in the swing of things meeting friends at the park; just this last Thursday we met our "Fairview" group out at Newell Park in St Paul (it had a grove of oak trees, and Aidan thought it enchanting). I met these moms when our kids were just 6 weeks old at a Mommy and Me class at the hospital where we all gave birth. Now, three years later, we all have our second children. It has been amazing to watch these kids grow and to see their temperaments and personalities flourish. My friend Rhona's son Jonathan has a new little brother, Anthony, and my friend Natalie's son Avery has a nearing one year old brother Luke. So there we were with our SIX boys! They played really well together (which is saying a lot), having the familiarity of time on their side.

We are settling into a routine and actually got quite a bit done this weekend in the yard. My Dad (Baba) and Joel are building a playhouse and swing set for Aidan in the backyard. It is Aidan's birthday present from Nana and Baba. It is coming along nicely and Aidan is very excited to be able to swing. They also built a sandbox and so far that has been a hit. We are home so much more now and it is awesome to have the playground in our back yard.

Aidan is starting preschool this week...more on that next post.

August 15 2006


So, we haven't posted in a month plus. Sorry!

Coleman is 6 weeks old and Aidan turned three last Tuesday! We went to see and ride Thomas the Train (a real train!)in Stillwater Friday, Aidan had a very good time, Cole thought it boring and slept through.

Coleman has started to lift and turn his head while on his belly. He has been a very good sleeper; sleeping from 11-4ish for the whole time he has been home. Occasionaly, he wakes up at 2 to nurse, but since he is co-sleeping, it is easy on us all! This week he started to go down at about 8 and is waking to nurse when I go to bed at 11, then 4, seven or so, then sleeps until about 10. The sleeping has been a blessing, making everything a bit nicer (including me) the second time around.

Aidan is a fiery fellow with a heart of gold. He means well and is very dear, but also quite intense. He had his three year appt today. He is ahead of the curve in numbers, drawing (6 year level), and has 20/20 vision. He impressed our pediatrician with his good manners. He weighs in at 35 and a half pounds and is 39 inches tall!

Thank you for all the messages from all around!

**Pictures include Aidan on his bday (the party hat was a big deal), my Dad with Coleman, the Brothers Hillesheim asleep, my girlfriends Kristin (Gus), Adelheid (Elizabeth), Beth (Alex), and I (Coleman) with our new babes!, and Thomas.

We are home!

Aidan and Cole are already close and are getting in sync with each other. We are resting and all doing well. My milk came in early this morning, so Coleman is sleeping well and eating well, he latched on well right after birth.

We would love visitors later in the week. We are excited for you to meet our little Cole. Love to you.